Last week I went up to my son’s school for some parenting job or other. I was only going to be there a few minutes, so rather than park in the front and walk all the way through the school (like I’m supposed to do), I parked in the back next to his trailer and went straight in.

While I was talking to him, a group of classmates came back from their reading group. They spotted my van parked behind the trailer, and were tremendously impressed by it.

“Is that your car?” (to my son)

“Wow, your car is great!

…and best of all: “You guys must be rich!

Now, I like my van. It’s comfortable, handles well, and I can take out all the seats and haul major appliances around for my friends. But it’s nothing special, just a late-90′s Pontiac we bought used from a private seller. If they’d seen the beast in the main parking lot with all the other Mom-mobiles, they wouldn’t have looked twice at it. But because it was parked back there (where it really wasn’t supposed to be), it looked all shiny and special to them.

 

I dunno, it seems to me like it’s just another fake holiday tricked up to sell more merchandise. But what the hell, I love my moms—my real one and the one I got via marriage—so I’ll go along with it and get them flowers and/or candy, maybe even a card. And it’s nice when the kids come home from school with their handmade gifts, made just for me.

But when, exactly, did it become part of this little annual tradition that my husband is supposed to get me a Mother’s Day present?

Apparently lots of guys are doing this. I suppose I’m also supposed to be getting him things for Father’s Day. Probably the justification is that he’s expected to show appreciation for the mother of his children, or some similar roundabout crap meant to sell more sparkly geegaws to the masses.

Obviously I’m in a minority here, but I don’t buy it. I’m not his mother, and I think he shows his appreciation every day by slogging through his stressful job so the mother of his children can stay home with them. Maybe this kind of twisted Oedipal thing rocks the boat for the majority of people, but I just can’t get into it. So don’t be trying to guilt my mate because he’s not buying me crap for Mother’s day; the construction-paper flowers my kids made are more than enough for me.

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