Sep 182007

For the last few years, my eldest has been adjusting himself. He’ll just be strolling down the hall, pause mid-stride to re-arrange his package, and continue on.

I don’t mean he’s been doing it continuously for the last few years. Perhaps fifty percent of the time he leaves things alone. I thought perhaps he’d outgrown his underwear, and got him some men’s sizes. I think they’re stashed under his bed somewhere. We had to issue orders that he wear long pants to school.

My experience with children is limited, so I wasn’t sure if this was normal guy behavior. But apparently he’s not the only one. Cranky Professor and LawDog have observed the phenomenon in many other young men. Apparently some fellows have it much more severely than my kid, and rarely remove their hands from their pants.

I’ve gotten a lot stricter about hand-washing before dinner, I’ll tell you that.

Either the parental nagging is sinking in or he’s growing out of it. Perhaps he’s finally heeded my advice that such things be limited to the privacy of his room. This is excellent news for me, as I’d frankly rather not be made aware of my son’s package. Bad enough when the boy doing it is unrelated to me. Seriously, children—other people notice when you grab at yourself, even if they don’t say anything.

 Posted by at 11:41 am

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