Jun 302010
 

In preparation for a cookout Sunday, I went to the store and bought some chips, beer, and a two-liter bottle of Pepsi. To help my son resist the temptation to drink the two-liter bottle before Sunday, I also got a smaller bottle that he could drink whenever he wanted.

When I got home, I let him know I’d gotten a drink for him.

“This bottle of Pepsi,” I said, displaying the two-liter bottle, “cost a dollar fifty-nine. This bottle,” I showed him the 16-ounce bottle, “also cost a dollar fifty-nine.”

He opened the smaller bottle and raised it in my direction. “Ahh, wasted money,” he toasted, taking a drink.

Jun 292010
 

Granted, at this point I’d probably love any job. But I suspect I’ll still like this one a year from now.

I went in today to get a little training—the contractor they’ve got doing the books is going on vacation tomorrow, so they wanted to introduce me to the system before she leaves. When she gets back she’ll stay another two weeks, holding my hand and getting me up to speed on how everything works. Then it’s all me. I’ll have an actual office and everything.

There were only a few of us working in the church offices today, and a few other ladies running the church preschool. Apparently this is common during the summer, but winter will probably be busier.

After an overview of their processes we did a bank deposit. Then I got to reconcile the bank account, did a little filing, and helped get the newsletter ready for mailing. They might also let me help out with the church web page. Basically all the geeky stuff I like to do in my spare time anyway (well, except the filing).

Jun 282010
 

Last Wednesday I interviewed for a part-time job with a large local church.

They called me Thursday afternoon to see if I was still interested. Pending a satisfactory background check, the job was mine.

Over the weekend I’ve been getting reports from my friends, who I listed as personal references, that the church had called. You know, if corporations were half this conscientious in their hiring practices, there would be a lot less trouble in the business world.

This morning they called back to let me know I’ve definitely got the job. The lady I’ll be reporting to will call later this week to work out exactly when I’m going to start.

Woo hoo! I has a job!

Gimme Some Soup, Baby

 General  Comments Off
Jun 272010
 

From SCI FI Wire:

Bruce Soup

I’m going to print some out and put them on my soup cans. Maybe all my soup cans. Who the hell cares what’s really in them?

I HAS A YANTOE

 General  Comments Off
Jun 252010
 

AHAHAHAHAHA

If you’re into either Torchwood or LOLcats—and especially if you’re into both—you may also appreciate this.

Transformer Owl

 General, Videos  Comments Off
Jun 252010
 


I heart nature.

Jun 242010
 

ThinkGeek received a cease-and-desist letter from the National Pork Board.

Seems the NPB objected to ThinkGeek’s use of “the new white meat” in their ad for Canned Unicorn Meat.

Which ran on April 1.

ThinkGeek received a carefully-crafted, 12-page C&D ordering them to stop using the trademarked slogan.

Always willing to be reasonable, ThinkGeek has issued this public apology.

It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn,” said Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet. “In fact, ThinkGeek’s canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity.

 

Had another job interview yesterday, for a part-time position at a large church. It was by far the most thorough interview I’ve experienced so far; they asked questions about practical applications of accounting, software, security, and so forth. I think I answered them all satisfactorily.

At one point they gave me a set of mocked-up financial statements and asked me some questions about them. My first (unsolicited) observation was that their balance sheet didn’t balance. It seemed to please them that I noticed that right away.

They asked me to identify the net income—an easy enough task when you have an income statement, with “Net Income” in bold at the bottom. I qualified my answer with, “. . . although since the balance sheet isn’t balanced, I would really want to double-check this number.”

Seriously, it really bugged me. I wanted to sit down and go through their balance sheet and figure out why it was off.

A part-time job would be almost ideal, because it would enable me to continue going to class, helping out at the homeless shelter, and helping out with Alpha Geek’s business. The only drawback would be the lack of benefits. Our COBRA expires at the end of July, and we need to figure out what the hell we’re going to do about insurance. I can’t help but envy all these people with employer- or government-paid insurance plans who have the luxury of bitching about health care reform.

Gritty Crime Drama

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Jun 202010
 

csi:bel air

 

In December 2009, I finished all my classes required for the A.A.S. in Accounting. At that time, all the job postings required “one to two years of experience.” I sent résumés out on the theory that a two-year degree could arguably fill that requirement.

These days, the job ads are asking for five or six years of experience, or a Master’s in Accounting.

I did a little research on the prerequisites for the Master’s in Accounting at my local university. Turns out I have all but one of the required classes to enroll in their program. So I’ve signed up to take that one class this fall.

Of course, pursuing a Master’s will cost tens of thousands of dollars, which we currently do not have, and I’m not sure if we should invest that kind of money when I still don’t know if it will lead to an income. But I figure it never hurts to expand my options.

And when I go to class this fall, I’m pasting this on the cover of my notebook:

The Eternal Mystery

Unemployed, But Working

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Jun 182010
 

Worst thing about being unemployed: No money.

Second worst: Feeling like I’m not contributing anything. I’ve often bitched to Alpha Geek that I feel useless.

“But you maintain the house, take care of the kids, pay the bills,” countered Alpha Geek. “That has enormous value—if you weren’t doing that, I couldn’t do what I do that brings us money.”

“But that’s stuff I always did, even when I was working. Now I’m not working and I feel useless.”

“Maybe you should volunteer somewhere.”

“I do volunteer somewhere. I help out at the homeless shelter two days a week.”

“Then you’re not useless.”

I started helping out at the homeless shelter around the beginning of the year. Many people were losing their homes, and it seems to have struck a nerve with me—there but for the grace of $DEITY go I, and all that sort of thing. We’ve got family, and friends who are like family, who could help us out if our financial situation tanked. Others didn’t have that safety net, and turned to shelters.

There are about a dozen shelters in Raleigh, with varying policies on who can stay for how long. Some are men-only, a few are women-only, and others are for anyone who needs them—as long as there’s room. Most of them work with churches and community groups to provide programs for getting residents out of the shelter and back into homes of their own.

I’m helping out at one of the oldest and largest shelters. Since it’s so well-established, it has a lot of services available in addition to beds and meals: a medical staff, a GED program, a child care center. Since the weather began heating up, the shelter has been providing big coolers of water just outside the door so people can come get a drink whenever they need one. Often while I’m helping out in the kitchen I’ll hear over the PA system: “Attention kitchen, the water coolers need to be refilled. Thank you!”

Some of the guys I work with are volunteers, like me, and others are shelter residents who want to work and be useful, like me. Unless they tell me, I don’t know which. They’re all great people to work with, and seem genuinely glad to have me helping out.

If I can’t work for money, I’ll work for free, dammit.

 

They’re persistent, I’ll give ‘em that. But I won’t give ‘em anything else.

Now they’ve changed their company name, and instead of an IQ test they want a credit report. And I’m sure their web site is a completely safe and legitimate place to enter all my personal information for that purpose.

The fax number is different, but their phone number is the same.

How are you again <my full name>, I hope that you are having a nice Friday.

I am sending a quick e-mail because our department has still not seen or heard anything back from you with regards to the job.

Please understand that if we do not hear back from you by Tuesday, June 15th, we will need to move on to the second choice.

This is also a reminder that we need a recent credit report (Located here: http://JadinCorp.com/Credit-Report) and your availability for us to set up an interview.

If you already sent in the required information, simply disregard this e-mail and we will get back with you in the next few days.

Thanks a bunch and have a wonderful rest of the Friday,

Lindsey Cole
Human Resources Dept.

Jadin, Corp
Phone number: 1 (650)-489-2541
Fax line: 1 (866) 402-4940
E-mail: LindseyCole@JadinCorp.com
Website: JadinCorp.com

This message was Re-mailed from jobs-alze76555847
6/11/2010 1:07:23 PM

I’d better get right over there before they give the fake job to somebody else.

 

Seen in an ad for an online university:

“Did you know,” burbles the narrator, “that in the U.S., full-time employees with a college degree earn 62% more annually than those with just a high school education?”

Yeah. Never mind the ones who are earning 100% less because we can’t find work. STFU, bitch.

Job Scammers

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Jun 042010
 

Hello <my full name>, it’s fantastic to hear from you.

We appreciate you e-mailing us.

You are extremely qualified for this job position, and more so than the other 13 applicants we received resumes from.

The selection process is almost done. We only ask for you to complete a basic, simple IQ(Intelligence Quotient) quiz to complete and show to our Head of Human Resources.

Please perform the IQ Quiz here: http://LostonCorp.com/IQ-Quiz

Please reply back with the results and an availability schedule to set-up an interview.

Personally, I am excited to fill this position with a friendly face and looking to your quick response.

Have a wonderful Thursday,

Shelby James
HR Dept.

Loston, Corp
Telephone: 1 (650) 489-2541
Fax: 1 (866)-396-3806
Contact: ShelbyJames@LostonCorp.com
Website: LostonCorp.com

Remailed from job-aqme59637483
6/3/2010 9:45:28 AM

Apparently others receiving this one were supposed to go watch a video, or confirm a phone number (back when they were calling themselves Charon, Corp).

As far as I’ve seen, if they want you to go to a web page and “complete” something—there is no job, it’s just a scam to get your information, or to generate clickthroughs, or both.

Jun 032010
 

Patrick Stewart was knighted yesterday at Buckingham Palace.

Sir Patrick Stewart

How awesome is that? I’ll tell you—pretty damn awesome.

In the Dark

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Jun 022010
 

So I get an uninterrupted afternoon to play with some new graphics software. I’ve elected to let the housework go to hell, and the rain absolves me from yard work. I’ve got a manual open on my desk, the online help files, even a web tutorial video. I’m happily fiddling with pen sizes and ruler settings.

And the power goes out.

I mutter a few choice words and feel my way upstairs. The Artist is smugly nestled into the couch with his Mac powerbook. The Director and I decide to go up to the drugstore for batteries to power my little tiny camp light.

At the end of the street we learned the cause of the power outage:

Fallen tree

The tree looks healthy; the onlooker consensus was that the ground is just saturated from all the rain we’ve been having lately.

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