Valentine’s Day must be coming; I keeping seeing ads for some heart jewelry. Apparently it’s been a thing for years, which shows you how much attention I pay to shit like this.
But just in case Alpha Geek had seen the same ads, I sent him an e-mail:
Subject: For the record, I do not want an Open Heart necklace.
I don’t care how romantic Kaye Jewelers say it is, it still looks to me like a pendant that says “You have a big fat ass.”
Well good, because I don’t even know what that is, so you aren’t getting one from me.
Nice to know we’re still on the same page romantically.