Bertha

To the Person Now in Possession of My Flash Drive:

Geek Wannabe, General Comments Off

Jan 152008

I imagine you were quite pleased to discover my 2GB flash drive in the computer lab last night. You could have left it where it was, or even turned it in to the lost and found. But as I learned when I arrived at the lab at eight o’clock this morning, you chose instead to keep it for yourself. Because apparently you can come up with the thousands of dollars necessary for tuition and books to attend a college, but you can’t scare up twenty bucks to buy your own flash drive.

Perhaps you were hoping it would contain some confidential personal information which you could use for more ambitious larceny. If so, you were out of luck. All that was on the drive was the last four semesters’ worth of my assignments. I wonder if you even paused to speculate whether I had backups of those files. Fortunately I do, although I will not enjoy re-creating the two hours’ worth of work I had done in the lab yesterday.

You are a petty thief, and I hope my flash drive causes you nothing but grief. May it gather more viruses than a day care toddler, and infect your computer with every one of them. More realistically, I hope you try to pass off one of my old assignments as your own and get your dishonest ass expelled. You suck.

Love and kisses,
-Bertha

Cash Flows… the Bane of My Existence

Accounting Stuff, Geek Wannabe, General Comments Off

Jan 142008

Ah, the statement of cash flows. My old nemesis, we meet again. How you have confounded me in the past with your convoluted trickery.

The courses I’m taking this semester are all the courses scheduled to be in the last semester of the standard two-year curriculum. As such, they’re all advanced, high-level classes with an intensive workload.

Then I learned that the Accounting Software class is only offered in the spring, and if I want to finish this year I’d better take it this semester. So I’ve added another helping to my plate. Its on-campus class conflicted with my Ethics in Accounting, so I tried to sign up for the online class.

The online class was full. So I harassed the instructor and the department head into squeezing one more student in.

The department head is also the instructor for my Internal Systems and Controls class. Fortunately he’s not the vindictive sort. At least I don’t think he is.

I got out of sync with the curriculum schedule in the first semester, when I had to take a math class before I could take ACC 120. ACC 120 is a prereq for all the other accounting classes. This meant I couldn’t actually start the accounting part of my accounting curriculum until the third semester. And that is why I’m taking three years to complete a two-year degree. I picked up all the non-accounting classes I could in the first two semesters, so I’ll be pretty heavy on the accounting this year. I’ll be dreaming in debits and credits.

I find the classes dealing with auditing and fraud investigation to be my favorites. Maybe I’ll be a number narc.

And tonight when I went to sync up my flash drive with its backup folder, I couldn’t find it. I’m fairly certain I left it in one of the computers in the Individualized Learning Center. I sure hope it’s still there tomorrow. There’s nothing compromising on there, no bank account information or anything—just assignment files, all of which are backed up except the ones I did this afternoon. Still, I’d sure like to get it back.

Anyone want a kid?

Breeder's Corner, Geek Wannabe, General Comments Off

Jan 042008

Yesterday he harassed me for almost an hour because he was bored, his brother was too tired to play with him, and I wouldn’t let him play on the PS2 because I was doing something that required concentration.

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“I already answered you.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“You’re not capable of being quiet.”

“Yes I am.”

(After forty-five minutes of this): “Kid, at this point I’m not going to let you play on the PS2 no matter what you say, because it would just teach you that if you harass me for forty-five minutes you’ll get what you want. I’m not setting myself up for that.”

“But there’s nothing else to do!”

“There’s plenty to do. You just don’t want to do it because you’ve made up your mind to play with the PS2. But that’s not going to happen.”

Much sulkage ensued.

Today, when he got home from school, he spent that same forty-five minutes happily doing math problems on paper. He wanted to work out what terminal velocity is in kilometers per second.

Nothing else to do, my ass.

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