Bertha

“Huggable Urns”

 Cat Tales, Geek Wannabe, General  Comments Off on “Huggable Urns”
Jul 072006
 

As regular readers of my blog know, in excruciating detail, my cat died a few months ago. Basically he was old and his body called it quits.

The day before the vet came out for the last time, she mentioned that I might think about what I wanted to do with his remains. I didn’t really care much what happened to his body after he was done with it; I had the notion that I would bury him in the front yard in the area where he liked to sleep when he was alive. I talked to my husband about it that evening, in case he had a preference.

“I think I’d prefer to have him cremated,” was his opinion. He felt it would be kind of creepy to have Phurball buried in the yard.

I think it’s neat that I’ve been married to the guy for fifteen years and he’s still surprising me.

So we had him cremated. Turns out there’s a local company that specializes in pet cremations; the vet took the body over, and a couple of days later returned the ashes in a little plastic urn, tastefully wrapped in an embroidered velvet bag. I put it on the mantel, because I really didn’t know what else to do with it.

Until now.

I think I should put the ashes in one of these things, and then start talking about Phurball as if he’s still alive while holding the thing on my lap and petting it compulsively. If someone tries to tactfully point out that the cat is dead, I’d just say, “Yes, I know,” and continue talking about him in the present tense.

Bet that would get rid of the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

 Posted by at 11:47 am

This Is My Planner

 Geek Wannabe, General  Comments Off on This Is My Planner
Jul 032006
 

My Planner

It’s nothing fancy, just a little one I got at an office supply store about ten years ago. At one point I tried using a larger one, but that one was so big that it was a pain to carry with me and I left it at home, and I wound up not using it because it was always where I was not.

I started using a planner because I was losing things. Not physical things like my shoes or my keys, but temporal things like doctor’s appointments and meetings with the kids’ teachers. I’ve never been a terribly organized person, but when I was the only person I had to keep track of I could manage all right. When I suddenly had to keep track of things for two other people as well, I found that my mental juggling skills just weren’t up to the job.

I had to teach myself to use the thing. Like any other habit, it took a while to establish; at first I would forget to write things in and thus would still lose things. Eventually it became routine to write things in the planner immediately, and check the thing daily to see what was coming up. I don’t have to try and store the details in my easily-overwhelmed little mind. It’s like having an external USB drive for my brain. My friends and family are all well-versed in the use of my cerebral extension; whenever they tell me about some event or information, they’ll tell me “put it in your planner” if it’s something important that must not be forgotten.

I’m quite fond of my little planner. It gives me the illusion that I know what the hell is going on.

 Posted by at 12:37 pm

Bonus!

 Geek Wannabe, General  Comments Off on Bonus!
Jun 212006
 

So I dropped in Taco Bell to get me some cheap food. I asked the girl at the register for two tacos and a small soda. She didn’t hand me the cup to get my soda like they usually do, but sometimes they forget. I moved over to the “pick up” side of the counter, figuring I’d ask them for my cup when they brought out my tacos.

While I waited, I checked my receipt to see if she’d heard me order the drink at all—it was kind of bustling and noisy back there. It said two tacos, and a nachos supreme. Whoops, looks like she didn’t hear me.

They brought out my food. I waited for the lady behind the counter to finish with a fellow who’d come in to pick up his paycheck. When she was done she turned to see what I needed:

Me: I think she misheard me; I just wanted two tacos and a small soda.

Taco Bell Lady: (taking nachos out of the bag, still changing gears from dealing with the other guy) Um… hm.

Me: I can just pay for a small soda too, if that will help.

TBL: Oh, no, we won’t have you do that. (thinks) If I gave you a large soda instead, that would make us about even.

Me: That’ll work.

TBL: Great! (gets large cup, puts nachos back in bag with my tacos) And here, you can just keep these. (smiley)

Me: Cool, thanks!

Always be polite to the people serving you food. Free nachos 4 teh winz!!1

 Posted by at 1:11 pm
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