More Proof That I’m A Terrible Parent

 Breeder's Corner, Geek Wannabe, General  Comments Off on More Proof That I’m A Terrible Parent
Aug 222007
 

Yesterday we had an impressive thunderstorm. The light became eerily golden, the trees were alive with wind, and bursts of rain built into a heavy downpour.

My son put on his shoes and announced he was going to go outside and play in the rain.

My abrupt “No” brought him up short. (You have to be abrupt if you want to catch him before he’s out of earshot; the little bugger moves fast.)

“There’s lightning,” I explained, once I had made sure he wouldn’t be out the door by the second word. “If it were just the rain, I’d say go nuts, but you’re not going to play outside in a thunderstorm.”

He spent the next five minutes explaining to me the statistics of lightning strikes. “You’ve got a better chance of being eaten by a shark while swimming in the ocean than you do of getting struck by lightning.”

I would not relent, and he eventually gave up and sulked back to his room. I’m a very unreasonable parent, I really am.

 Posted by at 12:33 pm

Child Abuse

 Breeder's Corner, Geek Wannabe, General  Comments Off on Child Abuse
Aug 202007
 

Their rooms are beyond messy. They’re shin-deep in toys and trash. There is no horizontal surface that is not covered in clutter. At night the slow scraping of junk keeps me awake as the tidal pull of the moon drags it back and forth across the floor.

Drastic measures had to be taken. I made up a list specifying what I consider to be “a clean room,” handed one to each of the boys, and declared “There shall be no computer time until your rooms meet these criteria.”

Governments suggesting increased taxes have met with less resistance. There was groaning, cajoling, bargaining and dirty looks. One went into his room for five minutes and came out declaring it was all clean now. I didn’t even bother to go look. The other one spent a lot of time shoving things back and forth across the floor, scowling and grumbling refusals when I offered to pitch in and help.

That evening my husband heard the rumblings of rebellion from the trenches when he got home.

“They can’t go on the computer until their rooms are clean,” I told him.

He adopted an expression of mock horror. “That’s terrible! You’re such a cruel parent!”

“I know. I’m surprised they haven’t called Child Protective Services.”

From the other room, my eldest chipped in, “I don’t know their number.”

 Posted by at 11:42 am
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