Bertha

The Next Summer Blockbuster

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Mar 252017
 

The recent cold snap has driven the bugs indoors. Pest control has been by. It seems to have made the bugs angrier. Last night Alpha Geek and I had the following text exchange:

Bertha: OMG there were three enormous cockroaches in the kitchen

Alpha Geek: Did you get them or did they scurry off somewhere?

Bertha: I got two

Bertha: ONE OF WHICH WAS FLYING BTW

Alpha Geek: Jesus

Bertha: BTW if you find puddles around the sink, it’s because I used the sprayer to bring down the flying one

Bertha: I think I got all the water cleaned up

Alpha Geek: Wow you had a real battle

Bertha: It was epic

Bertha: There was swashbuckling and feats of heroism

Bertha: There was betrayal and redemption

Bertha: I expect a movie soon

Bertha: I want Michelle Yeoh to play me

Alpha Geek: And Gilbert Gottfried should play the cockroach

Bertha: Perfect

 Posted by at 2:58 pm

Temp Agency Is Not Useful

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Mar 202017
 

Last summer when I was looking for work, at some point I applied for a few positions offered by an accounting temp agency. Never heard back, not even an auto-replay acknowledging my submissions.

Today they called my cell phone, just checking in to see if I was still looking for work. Been working for most of a year now, dude, where were you when I was unemployed?

I choose to take this as a sign that the job market is improving. Mostly because I hope it is.

Sharknado!

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Aug 092016
 

I was watching Sharknado on TiVo. Alpha Geek was sitting beside me, reading something on his phone, not really paying attention.

Finally he looked up. “You’re actually watching this?”

I started giggling. “It’s awesome! It’s just so gloriously stupid!”

“I didn’t realize you were watching this idiocy.”

“I think my favorite part is the bad CGI.”

“Did that shark just roar? Sharks don’t roar!”

“Sharks don’t do any of this shit!”

He sighed and went back to reading on his phone.

I think my second favorite part is the awkward scene cuts to try and make it look like action is happening.

 Posted by at 8:05 pm
Bear