Stupid Period

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Jan 132012
 

(TMI warning. Squeamish males may want to hit the pageback button now.)

My monthly courses tend to follow a pattern. A day or two of anemic flow, a day when my uterus attempts to eject itself from my body, and another day or two of anemic flow. During that middle one, I carry half a dozen maxipads with me to work. Usually that’s enough.

Yesterday was the main event, periodically speaking. The cramps, the clots, the constant abdominal ache, the period shits. Yeah, guys (if you’re still reading), this is why we get cranky.

Last night I went to bed wearing a tampon and a maxipad. When I woke up the bed still looked like a scene from Hostel. Dammit. I’m not a fan of getting older, but I sure won’t miss this crap.

Just to add to my fun, the vent hose to the dryer has come loose. I don’t know who designs these things, but the screw I need to tighten to clamp it back down is under an overhang with three inches of clearance. My screwdriver is seven or eight inches long. Who the hell designs these things?!

Still Employed

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Jan 102012
 

I started this job in July. Since then, there have been three new hires and five (maybe six) firings. The hiring strategy here seems to be of the “throw shit at the wall and see what sticks” variety.

The latest layoff was this week, when the only other male in the office besides the boss was laid off. Now we have a staff of nine, all female. I wonder how long it will be before we’re all having our periods at the same time. I bet once that syncs up the boss will start calling in sick that week.

Today I got cc’d on an e-mail the boss sent to our payroll department. Seems I’ll be getting a dollar more an hour starting next pay period. Woot! I guess this means I’ve survived the layoff tsunami.

Bear