An Afternoon Chez Bertha

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Jun 102011
 

Yesterday Alpha Geek came into the living room chuckling to himself. “I saw something in the pantry labelled Organic Nuts,” he said, “and for a second I thought it said Orgasmic Nuts and was thinking, what the hell did she get now?

It’s especially funny because it’s apt—if there were a product called Orgasmic Nuts, I would totally buy it.

 Posted by at 2:04 pm

Another Scammer

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Jun 082011
 

The ad on Craigslist:

Accountant /Payroll Specialist – Accounting firm in Raleigh seeks entry-level person. If you have an aptitude for figures and are hardworking, honest & loyal, we will train you. Diverse work including bookkeeping., accounting and payroll. Computerized. For consideration please respond to this posting and include a copy of your resume.

The response from my application is below. Somehow the job description no longer includes bookkeeping, accounting, or payroll, and the requirements have changed from “aptitude for figures and are hardworking” to “must possess equipment to print checks.”

In case you’re wondering what the scam is, he’s trying to rope me into money laundering. If I respond to the ad, I’ll learn that my job will entail depositing money he sends me into my own account, deducting what he “pays” me, and then using my check-printing capabilities to cut a check for the remainder.

Needless to say, I just deleted it without responding.

(And yes, it really did use Comic Sans. And he really did sign it, “Contact.”)


Hello,
How are you doing ? Am currently seeking a part time worker for my company which I have been running for the past few years , My Name is Paul Jones . I am a payroll Manager , I do payroll accounting and audit for companies, I am currently seeking a data entry typist assistant from home in any part of the state, you could be a receptionist, data entry typist, a clerk, a stay at home mom, a student or anybody who has a computer experience with a computer connected with internet at home who want to work on a part time basis and earn extra income.

Moreover, I required a person who will be honest, trustworthy and able to work from home, and who will also handle the printing of letters, notes and checks with the data information of people on payroll list of each company I work for and I will handle the UPS, FedEx or Usps account label which will be made for you to dispatch the letters, notes and checks to various destinations, I will like to know if you will be trustworthy enough to entrust mine and my clients company’s vital information’s and signatory with you, please I want you to be sure that I will be paying you $1,000 monthly salary for a start, if you performed very well, I will increase your salary to $1200 and to $1,500 as time goes on, please get back to me today to know your interest. Here are the requirements needed.

REQUIREMENTS:
=
•You will need to have constant Internet access to work on this Job**
•A colored printer and MICR ink.
•{ VersaCheck Gold 2012 and Versa Paper ( Type: Business Form #3000 ) as your working kit’}
•You will be making use of the courier services to dispatch the letters, notes and checks.

Note: You can get them in any Staples store, Office Max, Office Depot or Wal mart and Our company will reimbursed you back with the money used in buying the items above to your first pay.

You can email me back as soon as possible and I will let you know when to start working from the comfort of your home at the most convenient time for you (you will only be working 3 to 4 hours per each day you choose to work in a week) and you will be earning $1,000 or more every month. You can start today if you are ready with all the items needed for the job, Please do have a nice day while I wait for your response on the job offered.

I will be expecting your response.
Contact

Sigh…

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Jun 072011
 

Thank you for applying to our job posting. You have been selected as a finalist for one of the open positions. The next step is to follow this link: Personality Survey

Fill out the form, confirm the link in your email, and take the short personality assesment. Our recruiter will then be giving you a call to set up a time for the interview and to give you more information about our company. We are sure that you have questions and will be happy to answer them for you.

The link goes to a site that is rated very poorly by Web of Trust. I have no doubt that it’s just there to gather personal info for phishers and scammers.

This is why I don’t put my address or phone number on the résumés I send out over the internet.

 Posted by at 10:19 am
Bear