(Expletive Deleted)

Three or four months ago, the City of Raleigh came out and did something to the water main in the street. I suspect they pressurized the connection in some way, as it resulted in a lot of leaks in our house.

The water bill the next month was unusually high. I figured it was because of the leaks that I’d been slack about repairing, so I got on the ball and fixed them.

This month our water bill was even higher. In fact, it was astronomically high. As in, over ten times our normal amount.

It had to be a leak outside the house. So I called the city and asked them to check it.

The next morning there was a notice on our doorstep. Yes, there is a leak. Unfortunately it’s on our property, not the city’s, so we have to fix it. The notice gave us 48 hours.

Seems strange to me that they didn’t feel any urgency about it last month when I paid a water bill that was over twice normal, but whatev.

So I called our old heroes, Schwartz Plumbing, to see what they could tell me.

They’re going to have to replace the water line going from the street to our house.

Oh, yippee.

It’ll cost almost as much as two mortgage payments.

I asked them if they couldn’t just take one of my kidneys, but they said there are laws about that. Dammit.

Before they can do that, they have to get all the other utilities to come out and mark out where they can safely dig (in particular, the gas and electric companies). I phoned the city to let them know that I could not make their 48 hour deadline, and why, and they said that was fine. They also said to call again after the repairs were done, and they would give us a credit to our water bill if it had exceeded twice its normal amount. Yeah, no problem there.

So in addition to a new furnace we weren’t expecting, we also get a new water pipeline. I’m so excited I could bite the heads off puppies.