General – Page 102

Nightmare on Oak Street

Dreams, General, I Love My Car Comments Off

Jul 022010

Allow me to relate the dream I had last night…

I was a character in the Nightmare on Elm Street series.

We knew Freddy was coming to get us. We were all trying to pack up and leave town ASAP. Whoever could get out might be safe as he went after the slower ones who remained.

But things kept delaying my departure. I was getting gear together, disentangling myself from people who seemed to feel I owed them my time, fighting my way through panicking crowds. The crowds got thinner and thinner as people managed to escape, while I still struggled with the logistics of getting myself out.

By the time I reached the parking lot with my bugout bag, there were hardly any people around. The place was dark and eerily quiet. I threw my stuff in the hatchback and hurried behind the wheel.

As soon as I closed the door, Kruger made his move. The car began warping and twisting. The upholstery reached around and grabbed me, pinning me down. The clean lines of the Honda Fit became organic and uneven, full of teeth and blood and claws…

…and I said, “Oh, no, my car does not do that.”

Immediately the nightmare lost its hold, the Kruger-induced contortions ceased, and the car returned to normal. I locked the door, started the engine, and sped away to safety.

Even in my nightmares, I’m too offended by assaults on my car to maintain my suspension of disbelief.

Time Management

General Comments Off

Jul 012010

Since learning I definitely have a job, I’ve been trying to decide if I should continue working at the homeless shelter two days a week.

The timing would be doable, but pretty tight. I would get off work at 1:00, and my shift at the shelter starts at 2:00. That should just give me time to run home, change clothes, scarf some lunch, and run out to the shelter.

Thing is, rushing like that stresses me out. It’s one reason I don’t often go places with Alpha Geek; he has a tendency to wait until the last possible minute to start getting ready. If anything unexpected comes up, suddenly we’re late and rushing. I hate that.

On the other hand, it would only be two days a week.

I’ve been pondering the decision since Monday. Last night I was thinking aloud while The Director was draped across the couch next to me. It was still the same set of pros and cons; the schedule might be feasible, but it would probably make me stressed.

The Director shrugged. “I dunno, I’ve never really had stress like that,” he admitted.

“No, but you’ve seen me stressed,” I pointed out.

“Oh, right. In that case, you definitely don’t want to do it.”

The boy has a wisdom beyond his years.

So when I go in this afternoon, I’ll let them know next week is my last week. I hate to bail on them like that, but The Director’s right—I don’t want to wind up stressed and snapping at my family all the time.

Tastes Like Marketing

Breeder's Corner, General Comments Off

Jun 302010

In preparation for a cookout Sunday, I went to the store and bought some chips, beer, and a two-liter bottle of Pepsi. To help my son resist the temptation to drink the two-liter bottle before Sunday, I also got a smaller bottle that he could drink whenever he wanted.

When I got home, I let him know I’d gotten a drink for him.

“This bottle of Pepsi,” I said, displaying the two-liter bottle, “cost a dollar fifty-nine. This bottle,” I showed him the 16-ounce bottle, “also cost a dollar fifty-nine.”

He opened the smaller bottle and raised it in my direction. “Ahh, wasted money,” he toasted, taking a drink.

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