WTF, Brain?

 Dreams, General  Comments Off on WTF, Brain?
Mar 062011
 

Apparently I haven’t been watching enough television or something, because last night my brain provided me with this little drama.

In my dream, my youngest son and I were walking home together. He was younger than he is now, maybe ten or twelve years old. We approached the house from the back, and we saw that one of the back doors was open slightly. We immediately knew someone had broken into the house. I told my son to stay with me in case they were still inside.

We entered through the kitchen door, and I picked up my cast-iron skillet. (In real life I have often thought that thing would make an excellent weapon.) I called out loudly that we were home, and if someone was still there they should leave now.

We started through the house, checking the rooms one by one for intruders. As we started down the hall I heard a noise from the bathroom; we looked in to see a man outside the window, looking in at us with surprise. I went closer to the window to talk to him. He was a thin young black man, looking uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed. Behind him was a white 4×4 pickup I’d seen lurking around the neighborhood.

I asked him if there was anyone still in the house, and he said there were two other guys. I told him if they left right now, I wouldn’t call the cops. I didn’t care about any stuff they’d stolen, I just wanted my son (and myself) to be safe. As we were talking, the other two came outside as well, two heavyset white guys who looked a little older. The younger guy turned and repeated my offer, adding, “C’mon, let’s just go.”

One of the older guys said, “No, she’s seen us now,” and they both turned to come back in.

I said to my son, “Go call 911.” He vanished down the hall. I stayed in the bathroom.

One of the intruders passed the bathroom door on the way to the kitchen, following the sound of my son’s voice. As he went by, I stepped out behind him and brained him with the skillet. He went down in a heap, and I turned to face the second guy, who was staring at me in surprise. Behind me I could hear my son reciting our address to the 911 operator.

The second guy turned tail and ran back the way he came. A moment later I heard the 4×4 peeling out and driving away.

Then I woke up.

The whole thing was very vivid and detailed. I remember the general clutter of the kitchen as I got the skillet, how shiny and new their 4×4 looked, how the black guy looked neat and trim and the white guys looked kind of scruffy and unkempt. I remember thinking the older men had somehow roped the younger one into this idiocy, as he didn’t look like he wanted to be there at all. I remember the meaty crunch the skillet made when it connected with the man’s head. In the dream I probably killed the guy, because I was swinging for the fences—he’d been heading for my child.

What the hell, brain? Have I been watching too much nightly news?

Thank $DEITY That’s Over

 General  Comments Off on Thank $DEITY That’s Over
Feb 242011
 

Did my oral presentation in class today. I’ve been dreading that since I first saw it on the syllabus.

I’m not the only one who wanted to get it over with. We started doing them Tuesday, and every time she asked “Who’s next?” half the class would raise their hand. So I wasn’t able to get it over with on Tuesday, and continued dreading it for two more days.

Tuesday night I actually had a nightmare about it. I dreamed I finished the stupid thing, then went over to get my grade. I got a -10. I had completely misunderstood the requirements of the assignment, to the point that it would have been better not to do it at all.

At least it’s over with now. There are still a few people who have to do it on Tuesday. And it’s fairly unlikely that I got a grade below zero.

P.S. Ping Rotund—I know you’re on the northern island and Christchurch is a good distance away, but answer your damn e-mail anyway just to set my mind at ease, ‘kay?

“Homosexuality Is Unnatural”

 General  Comments Off on “Homosexuality Is Unnatural”
Feb 232011
 

…except that 1,500 animal species have been observed having gay sex…

“To turn the approach on its head: No species has been found in which homosexual behaviour has not been shown to exist, with the exception of species that never have sex at all, such as sea urchins and aphis. Moreover, a part of the animal kingdom is hermaphroditic, truly bisexual. For them, homosexuality is not an issue.”

Bear