Son: Can I open my Junior Mints now?
Me: Wait until we get home, I don’t want open candy in the car. You know what happens if it gets lost in the car until summer.
Son: It melts into the carpet.
Me: And you know what happens then.
Me: Then I have to kill you.
Son: Not today though.
Me: No, it would be months from now. I’d find melted chocolate in my car and say, “I’m going to kill that kid!”
Son: I’d put up a fight.
Me: Yeah, but I’m old and sneaky.
Son: Don’t you mean old and creaky?
Son: I’m young and sneaky.
Me: You’re young and smartass.
By this point he was laughing too much to offer any further repartee.